“I am the most unfocused, focused f*** out there…” — Gary Vaynerchuck
How to train your ADHD mind to focus deeply…
Here I am on my third or fourth half-finished blog about a variety of different topics — bouncing from editing one topic to another — because I have finally embraced and accepted that I do have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
Now, I am definitely not making this as my narrative. I simply have come to terms with it as a challenge in my life that I can finally work with instead of having to push or force or hurdle myself onto overcoming the said obstacle.
I finally understand that targeting deadlines (although doable for me) just does not appeal to me. The thought of deadlines make me take a deep breath, much like having to prepare going deep underwater expecting I to be gasping for air afterwards. I hate that feeling.
I also finally realize that the reason why I constantly get so overwhelmed in the most basic decision-making aspects of my life — is because my brain, although capable of taking on time-constrained decision-making activities — just depletes me.
I need to be able to enjoy the process at my own pace so I can produce high quality results that I have envisioned in my head.
As I continue to express the discovery of how my ADHD brain works, I realize that it needs constant shifting of gears; moving from one topic to another, in order to refocus myself and get to the end result.
This is where Gary Vaynerchuk’s words apply.
Firstly, it is to of course catch your attention. And secondly, because I truly am able to resonate with him and thought it would be a good idea to share a voice with my fellow ADHD-ers out there who may or may not need my unsolicited advice.
So here’s how to produce results even when you have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:
- ) JOURNAL, JOURNAL — then JOURNAL SOME MORE
I cannot begin to note how important this step is for me. And by the way, this is not just something I do.
This is something that ALL successful entrepreneurs DO religiously. If you need me to name drop, well then… (i.e. Gary Vaynerchuk — duh, I quoted him for my title — although he journals through his social media content through his videos and copy, then there’s Richard Branson, Oprah and Ryder Carroll to name a few).
Journaling gives structure to the way I need to think during my day. It helps me improve on my self-awareness especially when it comes to my priorities, such as:
People and things that I am grateful for. Who and what am I grateful for? I usually never start the day without gratitude. This to me, comes first. It is my morning prayer.
What are my must-dos for the day and what skills do I need to work on that day?
If there are any skills I do need to work on, I write them down and designate how much time I need to invest on each skill. Is it an hour per skill or two hours?
Then there’s the question of who I need to spend time with on that day? And how much time do I need to spend with them?
I need to bear in mind that this is an emotional investment both for me and the person I invest my time with. This could be a reward in itself. Therefore, I may need to plan around such information and keep in mind that results need to happen before or after investing my time to deposit in my emotional bank account.
Lastly, there’s writing down everything else. Like what time am I supposed to go to the gym. Or if I had a dream the night before, I try to remember as much as I can about my dream and write it down. They say that writing about your dreams is a way for your brain to understand your subconscious.
I also make sure to write down my business ideas. Yes. Outrageous ideas constantly pop up in our heads. That’s why I love having post its and notepads lying around the house. Especially in the bathroom. Most ingenious ideas come while we’re taking a shower or commuting to and from work or driving.
I believe we all need to be in charge of our inner world in order to have a semblance of control of the outer influences in our lives; understanding what makes us tick and being able to articulate it through writing — whatever it is that seems to be the object of our brain’s attention — helps us (or at least helps me) chunk through the must-dos of my day.
2. ) BE CURIOUSLY BRAVE
For my fellow ADHD-ers out there, it’s not that we don’t finish activities that we start. Well, for the most part, any activity left unfinished goes to say that we have accepted (after obsessively pouring our energy into it) the fact that it simply isn’t something we are interested in the “long term”. And also may have accepted to ourselves that we are not naturally going to excel at it.
Some people may call it quitting too early.
I call it knowing my strengths and working on improving my weaknesses.
Being “curiously brave” means having the ability to separate your emotional wants from your logical needs. When you know that you have given it your all, but the said new activity just doesn’t seem to align with your goals, you then make the realistic decision to allow others to excel at it whilst you move on to something new.
And isn’t this how life should be anyway? It’s a journey of creating who you want to become, regardless of who you are right now.
3. ) BE OKAY WITH GETTING A LITTLE UNFOCUSED
This part was a huge aha moment for me, because it is counter-intuitive as f**k but it works.
When I allow myself to get a little unfocused, I become obsessively focused.
Let me explain.
As I was writing this article, I admit to having been distracted many times by Mr. Blackbeard — our slightly overweight cat — whilst watching or listening to the background noise of different YouTube videos playing from our smart TV and from my laptop. These were either cat videos or videos about how successful entrepreneurs think.
Since my cat can be a whiny, spoiled but adorably sweet and chunky li’l guy who would never stop meowing until he gets my full attention, playtime is a necessary part of his day. Plus, research shows that playing with your cat actually helps avoid the formation of bad habits such as nipping and clawing. But this is a totally different blog in itself.
As I was playing hide and seek with Blackbeard (yes — a grown ass woman plays hide and seek with her cat — so sue me :)) and listening to whatever YouTube video I played on the background, my brain’s inner world multi-tasks and creates new concepts that I may use for my next few paragraphs.
Et voila! You my dear reader, are now able to continue on through this blog without being left hanging should I have decided not to give this story a decent ending.
So instead of feeling frustrated with myself and with my cat (which I usually felt prior to embracing my ADHD-ness), I am now able to maximize on emotionally investing on myself and my cat, for a much needed quick breather. This then allows me to go back to work with fresh new takes on how to power through this article.
I told you it was counter-intuitive. But again — it works for me.
4. ) EXERCISE — PERIOD
You hate it. I hate it. Heck even professional athletes hate doing it sometimes.
But it is a fact that WE NEED to DO IT.
Contrary to popular belief, where we need to exercise first thing in the morning (exercising in the morning depletes our energy reserve therefore affects our brain’s ability to focus during the day), I exercise in the middle of my workday.
And this depends on what time I wake up.
Sometimes during my days off, I allow myself to sleep in until say — ten in the morning. Of course the middle of that day wouldn’t necessarily be at twelve noon.
It would approximately be around two thirty or three in the afternoon.
And research says that this is about the time when our body’s circadian rhythm tends to dip (although there is some variation on whether you are a morning or evening person).
Once I start feeling my circadian rhythm go down, I commit, on the spot, to doing any kind of heart-racing exercise depending on where I happen to be.
If it’s a day off then I go to the gym.
If I happen to be at work, I excuse myself, I go find a staircase and literally do whatever I need to do to get my heartbeat racing up a notch or two. Like going up and down a flight of stairs as fast as I can for five to ten minutes straight.
Other options could be doing push ups, sit ups, bicycle crunches, leg raises and russian twists to name a few stationary forms of exercise. I do them as fast as I can for five to ten minutes.
Again, the purpose is to keep the blood pumping. Anything to give my brain a jolt of adrenaline much like drinking that shot of espresso. Except that, that shot of espresso lasts for only about thirty minutes to an hour and makes your brain crash abruptly, thus needing another dose to get that extra buzz.
Exercising however keeps that adrenaline going upto three to four more hours — which in turn helps my brain refocus allowing me to end my workday on a high note.
5. ) TRAIN YOUR BRAIN TO THINK ONE OR TWO STEPS AHEAD — CONSISTENTLY
This may be the most challenging part of how I trained my ADHD brain to focus. And once again, it is an ongoing process and probably will always be the case.
Because I have come to terms with my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, I have discovered that the only way to keep my brain in track with what I need to accomplish during the day, is to keep thinking one, two or even three steps ahead so my brain can retrace its steps once it’s gone astray.
For the purposes of retracing my mind’s steps, I ask myself, “Okay Jo, have you done this or that?” or “What was I gonna do again?” or “Why am I doing this again?” And it helps if I answer myself out loud (this is the part where I also get to fully embrace my “crazy-cat-lady” vibe because, duh, who talks to themselves out loud? not very many.)
Pacing myself by taking my time answering my own questions also helps. Sometimes the brain reacts slowly and needs a little bit of a breather before it finds a solution to the question. And this is okay.
This is now the part where I need to be more understanding and patient with myself whenever sometimes the answer just doesn’t come.
Thus I go back to step one, where the process continues on.
I would say that my journal is my most effective tool and can be an ADHD-er’s best confidant.
I mean we could also use our smartphone’s voice recorder. But I personally prefer writing or typing (clearly for the purposes of this and future blogs) things down. There is just a deeper connection that happens between my fingers and my unique ADHD brain.
There you have it folks. Having this disorder is a blessing of sorts. It allows me to mentally process things differently. And different is always good.
I hope I brought some sort of enlightenment to your day. Until the next blog, ladies and gents. And thank you Gary, for giving me something to write about. :)
